Demetri's Bella or Nico Application
by crzzytn
Summary: It's Demetri's Application to associate with, or even know, Bella or Nico.
1. Chapter 1

**Derived from Chapter 39 of Nothing But Trouble. You probably won't get it unless you read the story. The best answers will be posted on here, most likely along with my own answers to the quizzes. Edward and Jake's responses are a given. All other characters are supposed to fill it out as well - so have at it. Funny... In character for NBT... those are the requirements. **

**So, yeah, read Nothing But Trouble. If you haven't. **

**And answer the stinking survey. Because it's fun, duh.**

* * *

**THE BELLA/NICO APPLICATION**

PLEASE FILL OUT A SEPARATE APPLICATION FOR EACH TWIN.

PLEASE RETURN TO DEMETRI VOLTURI WHEN FINISHED, AS I WILL BE THE ONE TO ASSESS THE ANSWERS AND MAINTAIN THE RECORDS. YOU HAVE TWENTY FOUR HOURS TO COMPLETE THIS APPLICATION, AFTER WHICH YOU WILL BE CONSIDERED NONEXISTANT TO ME AND WILL RECEIVE NO FURTHER RECOGNITION. EXCEPT FOR WHEN I QUESTION YOU ABOUT YOUR FAILURE TO COMPLETE THE APPLICATION.

EVERY HOUR

ON THE HOUR

EVERY DAY OF EVERY WEEK

EVERY WEEK OF THE YEAR

EVERY YEAR OF THE DECADE

EVERY DECADE OF THE CENTURY

AND SO ON.

IF YOU DON'T THINK I WILL DO IT, CHECK YOUR SOURCES AGAIN. I WILL.

TWIN:

APPLICANT NAME:

APPLICANT AGE:

APPLICANT LOCATION:

DOES APPLICANT HOLD A POSITION OF POWER ANYWHERE:

WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS WITH MY SISTER:

CAN YOU PROVIDE FOR MY SISTER IN THE APPROPRIATE MANNER:

HAVE YOU DONE MY SISTER:

MORE THAN ONCE?:

PLEASE TAKE THE FOLLOWING SURVEY SO THAT I MAY ASSESS THE EXTENT OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE TOWARDS THE TWINS.

1. SHE IS SHOPPING WITH TWIN (AND ALICE), THE HUMAN ENVIRONMENT IS TOO MUCH FOR YOU TO HANDLE AND YOU NEED TO HUNT IMMEDIATELY. YOU  
A) SUGGEST THAT EVERYONE LEAVE TO GO HUNT  
B) EXPLAIN TO HER THAT YOU HAVE TO LEAVE TO HUNT, AND TELL HER TO ENJOY HER SHOPPING  
C)SUCK IT UP AND DEAL WITH IT. LIFE ISN'T ABOUT YOU.

2. SHE IS VERY, VERY ANGRY WITH YOU. YOU…  
A) EXPLAIN YOURSELF  
B) HIDEC) DRESS UP AS CINDERALLA AND SERENADE HER WITH YOUR WORST IMPERSONATION  
D) TELL MARCUS TO PROTECT YOU

3. SHE DOES SOMETHING TO AGGRAVATE YOU IMMENSELY. YOU…  
A) YELL  
B) TELL HER HOW SHE HURT YOUR FEELINGS LIKE A PANSY  
C) DO HER  
D) APOLOGIZE AND BUY HER DIAMONDS BEFORE SHE CAN EVEN GET MAD AT YOU FOR BEING MAD AT HER (WHICH SHE WILL)

4. I DO SOMETHING STUPID THAT HEIDI WOULDN'T LIKE. YOU FIND OUT BEFORE ANYONE ELSE. YOU…  
A) WARN ME, BUT KEEP QUIET.  
B) TELL HEIDI, IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO.  
C) ASK HER FIRST. BECAUSE YOU NEVER, EVER DO ANYTHING WITHOUT HER OPINION.

5. HER FAVORITE MOVIE IS ______________________

6. HER FAVORITE BOOK IS ______________________

7. HER FAVORITE BROTHER IS ______________________

8. YOU'RE MEAN TO ALICE OR JANE. SHE FINDS OUT AND IS READY TO CASTRATE/DETIT YOU. YOU…  
A) HIDE (AGAIN)  
B) APOLOGIZE  
C) I WOULD NEVER DO THAT, JANE AND ALICE ARE SCARY  
D) DENY IT LIKE NICO DENIES FELIX.

9. FELIX IS AFTER NICO… AGAIN. YOU… (IF YOU ARE FILLING THIS APPLICATION ABOUT BELLA, PLEASE DISREGARD THIS QUESTION UNTIL YOUR NICO ONE)  
A) LAUGH AT HER FOR THE FIRST FEW DAYS, THEN SCARE FELIX SHITLESS  
B) PROTECT HER FROM THE EVIL IN FELIX'S PANTS  
C) LAUGH AT HER UNTIL SHE BLOWS SOMETHING UP

I WILL SCORE THIS SURVEY AND ASSES YOUR QUALIFICATIONS UPON RECIEPT. YOU WILL BE NOTIFIED OF YOUR RESULTS WITHIN ONE MONTH.


	2. Edward Bella by Me

**THE BELLA/NICO APPLICATION**

PLEASE FILL OUT A SEPARATE APPLICATION FOR EACH TWIN.

PLEASE RETURN TO DEMETRI VOLTURI WHEN FINISHED, AS I WILL BE THE ONE TO ASSESS THE ANSWERS AND MAINTAIN THE RECORDS. YOU HAVE TWENTY FOUR HOURS TO COMPLETE THIS APPLICATION, AFTER WHICH YOU WILL BE CONSIDERED NONEXISTANT TO ME AND WILL RECEIVE NO FURTHER RECOGNITION. EXCEPT FOR WHEN I QUESTION YOU ABOUT YOUR FAILURE TO COMPLETE THE APPLICATION.

EVERY HOUR

ON THE HOUR

EVERY DAY OF EVERY WEEK

EVERY WEEK OF THE YEAR

EVERY YEAR OF THE DECADE

EVERY DECADE OF THE CENTURY

AND SO ON.

IF YOU DON'T THINK I WILL DO IT, CHECK YOUR SOURCES AGAIN. I WILL.

TWIN: Princess Isabella Marie Swan Volturi

APPLICANT NAME: Edward Anthony Masen Cullen

APPLICANT AGE: 17, eternally.

APPLICANT LOCATION: Volterra, Idiot. Two doors down - in your sister's bed.

DOES APPLICANT HOLD A POSITION OF POWER ANYWHERE? : Yes. And my cloak is darker than yours. HA!

WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS WITH MY SISTER? : To try as hard as possible not to piss her off every day for the rest of eternity.

CAN YOU PROVIDE FOR MY SISTER IN THE APPROPRIATE MANNER? : Yes. Would you like a bank statement? Or is this your way of getting a camera into my bedroom?

HAVE YOU DONE MY SISTER: Yes.

MORE THAN ONCE?: Quite frequently, actually.

PLEASE TAKE THE FOLLOWING SURVEY SO THAT I MAY ASSESS THE EXTENT OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE TOWARDS THE TWINS.

1. SHE IS SHOPPING WITH TWIN (AND ALICE), THE HUMAN ENVIRONMENT IS TOO MUCH FOR YOU TO HANDLE AND YOU NEED TO HUNT IMMEDIATELY. YOU

C)SUCK IT UP AND DEAL WITH IT. LIFE ISN'T ABOUT YOU.

2. SHE IS VERY, VERY ANGRY WITH YOU. YOU…

B) HIDE

3. SHE DOES SOMETHING TO AGGRAVATE YOU IMMENSELY. YOU…

B) TELL HER HOW SHE HURT YOUR FEELINGS LIKE A PANSY

4. I DO SOMETHING STUPID THAT HEIDI WOULDN'T LIKE. YOU FIND OUT BEFORE ANYONE ELSE. YOU…  
A) WARN ME, BUT KEEP QUIET.

5. HER FAVORITE MOVIE IS _________Romeo and Juliet, the second release._____________

6. HER FAVORITE BOOK IS ________Wuthering Heights______________

7. HER FAVORITE BROTHER IS _________Emmett_____________

8. YOU'RE MEAN TO ALICE OR JANE. SHE FINDS OUT AND IS READY TO CASTRATE/DETIT YOU. YOU…

C) I WOULD NEVER DO THAT, JANE AND ALICE ARE SCARY

I WILL SCORE THIS SURVEY AND ASSES YOUR QUALIFICATIONS UPON RECIEPT. YOU WILL BE NOTIFIED OF YOUR RESULTS WITHIN ONE MONTH.


	3. Jake Nico by Me

**THE BELLA/NICO APPLICATION**

PLEASE FILL OUT A SEPARATE APPLICATION FOR EACH TWIN.

PLEASE RETURN TO DEMETRI VOLTURI WHEN FINISHED, AS I WILL BE THE ONE TO ASSESS THE ANSWERS AND MAINTAIN THE RECORDS. YOU HAVE TWENTY FOUR HOURS TO COMPLETE THIS APPLICATION, AFTER WHICH YOU WILL BE CONSIDERED NONEXISTANT TO ME AND WILL RECEIVE NO FURTHER RECOGNITION. EXCEPT FOR WHEN I QUESTION YOU ABOUT YOUR FAILURE TO COMPLETE THE APPLICATION.

EVERY HOUR

ON THE HOUR

EVERY DAY OF EVERY WEEK

EVERY WEEK OF THE YEAR

EVERY YEAR OF THE DECADE

EVERY DECADE OF THE CENTURY

AND SO ON.

IF YOU DON'T THINK I WILL DO IT, CHECK YOUR SOURCES AGAIN. I WILL.

TWIN: Nico Volturi

APPLICANT NAME: Jacob Black

APPLICANT AGE: 141, Sir

APPLICANT LOCATION: Volterra, Italy or La Push, Washington.

DOES APPLICANT HOLD A POSITION OF POWER ANYWHERE: Alpha of Quileute tribe, La Push, Washington.

WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS WITH MY SISTER: Honorable, Sir.

CAN YOU PROVIDE FOR MY SISTER IN THE APPROPRIATE MANNER: Probably not, Sir. But her Daddy will take care of that.

HAVE YOU DONE MY SISTER: Yes, Sir.

MORE THAN ONCE?: Yes, Sir.

PLEASE TAKE THE FOLLOWING SURVEY SO THAT I MAY ASSESS THE EXTENT OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE TOWARDS THE TWINS.

1. SHE IS SHOPPING WITH TWIN (AND ALICE), THE HUMAN ENVIRONMENT IS TOO MUCH FOR YOU TO HANDLE AND YOU NEED TO HUNT IMMEDIATELY. YOU  
I don't hunt.

2. SHE IS VERY, VERY ANGRY WITH YOU. YOU…

D) TELL MARCUS TO PROTECT YOU

3. SHE DOES SOMETHING TO AGGRAVATE YOU IMMENSELY. YOU…

C) DO HER

4. I DO SOMETHING STUPID THAT HEIDI WOULDN'T LIKE. YOU FIND OUT BEFORE ANYONE ELSE. YOU…

C) ASK HER FIRST. BECAUSE YOU NEVER, EVER DO ANYTHING WITHOUT HER OPINION.

5. HER FAVORITE MOVIE IS _________Grease_____________

6. HER FAVORITE BOOK IS ________Karma Sutra Manuel______________

7. HER FAVORITE BROTHER IS _________Demetri_____________

8. YOU'RE MEAN TO ALICE OR JANE. SHE FINDS OUT AND IS READY TO CASTRATE/DETIT YOU. YOU…

C) I WOULD NEVER DO THAT, JANE AND ALICE ARE SCARY

9. FELIX IS AFTER NICO… AGAIN. YOU… (IF YOU ARE FILLING THIS APPLICATION ABOUT BELLA, PLEASE DISREGARD THIS QUESTION UNTIL YOUR NICO ONE)

B) PROTECT HER FROM THE EVIL IN FELIX'S PANTS

I WILL SCORE THIS SURVEY AND ASSES YOUR QUALIFICATIONS UPON RECIEPT. YOU WILL BE NOTIFIED OF YOUR RESULTS WITHIN ONE MONTH.


	4. Edward Bella by twilam

**THE BELLA/NICO APPLICATION**

PLEASE FILL OUT A SEPARATE APPLICATION FOR EACH TWIN.

PLEASE RETURN TO DEMETRI VOLTURI WHEN FINISHED, AS I WILL BE THE ONE TO ASSESS THE ANSWERS AND MAINTAIN THE RECORDS. YOU HAVE TWENTY FOUR HOURS TO COMPLETE THIS APPLICATION, AFTER WHICH YOU WILL BE CONSIDERED NONEXISTANT TO ME AND WILL RECEIVE NO FURTHER RECOGNITION. EXCEPT FOR WHEN I QUESTION YOU ABOUT YOUR FAILURE TO COMPLETE THE APPLICATION.

EVERY HOUR

ON THE HOUR

EVERY DAY OF EVERY WEEK

EVERY WEEK OF THE YEAR

EVERY YEAR OF THE DECADE

EVERY DECADE OF THE CENTURY

AND SO ON.

IF YOU DON'T THINK I WILL DO IT, CHECK YOUR SOURCES AGAIN. I WILL.

TWIN: Princess Isabella Marie Swan Volturi

APPLICANT NAME: Edward Anthony Cullen

APPLICANT AGE: been 17 for a while now...

APPLICANT LOCATION: uh, Italy

DOES APPLICANT HOLD A POSITION OF POWER ANYWHERE: the most awesome power of panty dropping!

WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS WITH MY SISTER: crown her princess of the sea and then take her to space...

CAN YOU PROVIDE FOR MY SISTER IN THE APPROPRIATE MANNER: Stripping?

HAVE YOU DONE MY SISTER: We have kids! Try to guess

MORE THAN ONCE?: Can't even count it

PLEASE TAKE THE FOLLOWING SURVEY SO THAT I MAY ASSESS THE EXTENT OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE TOWARDS THE TWINS.

1. SHE IS SHOPPING WITH TWIN (AND ALICE), THE HUMAN ENVIRONMENT IS TOO MUCH FOR YOU TO HANDLE AND YOU NEED TO HUNT IMMEDIATELY. YOU

D) Kill one of the humans there and drink his blood from a martini glass

2. SHE IS VERY, VERY ANGRY WITH YOU. YOU…

E) Throw you in front of her telling her it was all your fault... then dress YOU up as Cinderella and make you sing the happy working song for enchanted while dancing around in high heels...

3. SHE DOES SOMETHING TO AGGRAVATE YOU IMMENSELY. YOU…

E) Take my anger out on you

4. I DO SOMETHING STUPID THAT HEIDI WOULDN'T LIKE. YOU FIND OUT BEFORE ANYONE  
D) tell Bella and let her decide...

5. HER FAVORITE MOVIE IS: Spaceballs

6. HER FAVORITE BOOK IS: Coraline

7. HER FAVORITE BROTHER IS: Jane

8. YOU'RE MEAN TO ALICE OR JANE. SHE FINDS OUT AND IS READY TO CASTRATE/DETIT YOU. YOU…

E) Face death like a man

I WILL SCORE THIS SURVEY AND ASSES YOUR QUALIFICATIONS UPON RECIEPT. YOU WILL BE NOTIFIED OF YOUR RESULTS WITHIN ONE MONTH.


	5. Edward Bella by vampyregurl09

**THE BELLA/NICO APPLICATION**

PLEASE FILL OUT A SEPARATE APPLICATION FOR EACH TWIN.

PLEASE RETURN TO DEMETRI VOLTURI WHEN FINISHED, AS I WILL BE THE ONE TO ASSESS THE ANSWERS AND MAINTAIN THE RECORDS. YOU HAVE TWENTY FOUR HOURS TO COMPLETE THIS APPLICATION, AFTER WHICH YOU WILL BE CONSIDERED NONEXISTANT TO ME AND WILL RECEIVE NO FURTHER RECOGNITION. EXCEPT FOR WHEN I QUESTION YOU ABOUT YOUR FAILURE TO COMPLETE THE APPLICATION.

EVERY HOUR

ON THE HOUR

EVERY DAY OF EVERY WEEK

EVERY WEEK OF THE YEAR

EVERY YEAR OF THE DECADE

EVERY DECADE OF THE CENTURY

AND SO ON.

IF YOU DON'T THINK I WILL DO IT, CHECK YOUR SOURCES AGAIN. I WILL.

TWIN: Bella

APPLICANT NAME: Edward

APPLICANT AGE: 17

APPLICANT LOCATION: Volterra, Italy

DOES APPLICANT HOLD A POSITION OF POWER ANYWHERE: No

WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS WITH MY SISTER: Honorable

CAN YOU PROVIDE FOR MY SISTER IN THE APPROPRIATE MANNER: Yes

HAVE YOU DONE MY SISTER: Yes

MORE THAN ONCE?: Yes

PLEASE TAKE THE FOLLOWING SURVEY SO THAT I MAY ASSESS THE EXTENT OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE TOWARDS THE TWINS.

1. SHE IS SHOPPING WITH TWIN (AND ALICE), THE HUMAN ENVIRONMENT IS TOO MUCH FOR YOU TO HANDLE AND YOU NEED TO HUNT IMMEDIATELY. YOU

A) SUGGEST THAT EVERYONE LEAVE TO GO HUNT

B) EXPLAIN TO HER THAT YOU HAVE TO LEAVE TO HUNT, AND TELL HER TO ENJOY HER SHOPPING

C)SUCK IT UP AND DEAL WITH IT. LIFE ISN'T ABOUT YOU.

IS VERY, VERY ANGRY WITH YOU. YOU…

A) EXPLAIN YOURSELF

B) HIDE

C) DRESS UP AS CINDERALLA AND SERENADE HER WITH YOUR WORST IMPERSONATION

D) TELL MARCUS TO PROTECT YOU

3. SHE DOES SOMETHING TO AGGRAVATE YOU IMMENSELY. YOU…

A) YELL

B) TELL HER HOW SHE HURT YOUR FEELINGS LIKE A PANSY

C) DO HER

D) APOLOGIZE AND BUY HER DIAMONDS BEFORE SHE CAN EVEN GET MAD AT YOU FOR BEING MAD AT HER (WHICH SHE WILL)

4. I DO SOMETHING STUPID THAT HEIDI WOULDN'T LIKE. YOU FIND OUT BEFORE ANYONE ELSE. YOU…

A) WARN ME, BUT KEEP QUIET.

B) TELL HEIDI, IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO.

C) ASK HER FIRST. BECAUSE YOU NEVER, EVER DO ANYTHING WITHOUT HER OPINION.

5. HER FAVORITE MOVIE IS __Romeo and Juliet_

6. HER FAVORITE BOOK IS __Wurthering Heights_

7. HER FAVORITE BROTHER IS _Demetri_

8. YOU'RE MEAN TO ALICE OR JANE. SHE FINDS OUT AND IS READY TO CASTRATE/DETIT YOU. YOU…

A) HIDE (AGAIN)

B) APOLOGIZE

C) I WOULD NEVER DO THAT, JANE AND ALICE ARE SCARY

D) DENY IT LIKE NICO DENIES FELIX.

9. FELIX IS AFTER NICO… AGAIN. YOU… (IF YOU ARE FILLING THIS APPLICATION ABOUT BELLA, PLEASE DISREGARD THIS QUESTION UNTIL YOUR NICO ONE)

A) LAUGH AT HER FOR THE FIRST FEW DAYS, THEN SCARE FELIX SHITLESS

B) PROTECT HER FROM THE EVIL IN FELIX'S PANTS

C) LAUGH AT HER UNTIL SHE BLOWS SOMETHING UP

MORE THAN ONCE? : Practice makes perfect. I WILL SCORE THIS SURVEY AND ASSES YOUR QUALIFICATIONS UPON RECIEPT. YOU WILL BE NOTIFIED OF YOUR RESULTS WITHIN ONE MONTH.


	6. Edward Bella by bookwormandtvlover

_credit goes to bookwormandtvlover_

**THE BELLA/NICO APPLICATION**

PLEASE FILL OUT A SEPARATE APPLICATION FOR EACH TWIN.

PLEASE RETURN TO DEMETRI VOLTURI WHEN FINISHED, AS I WILL BE THE ONE TO ASSESS THE ANSWERS AND MAINTAIN THE RECORDS. YOU HAVE TWENTY FOUR HOURS TO COMPLETE THIS APPLICATION, AFTER WHICH YOU WILL BE CONSIDERED NONEXISTANT TO ME AND WILL RECEIVE NO FURTHER RECOGNITION. EXCEPT FOR WHEN I QUESTION YOU ABOUT YOUR FAILURE TO COMPLETE THE APPLICATION.

EVERY HOUR

ON THE HOUR

EVERY DAY OF EVERY WEEK

EVERY WEEK OF THE YEAR

EVERY YEAR OF THE DECADE

EVERY DECADE OF THE CENTURY

AND SO ON.

IF YOU DON'T THINK I WILL DO IT, CHECK YOUR SOURCES AGAIN. I WILL.

TWIN: Bella

APPLICANT NAME: Edward

APPLICANT AGE:17 (why do you need to know this Demetri? You already know my age.)

APPLICANT LOCATION: The Castle (Where else would I be?!)

DOES APPLICANT HOLD A POSITION OF POWER ANYWHERE:I don't know!

WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS WITH MY SISTER: Demetri!!! I intend to be her husband!

CAN YOU PROVIDE FOR MY SISTER IN THE APPROPRIATE MANNER: Yes Demetri, I can.

HAVE YOU DONE MY SISTER: DEMETRI!!! WHAT DO YOU THINK, YOU IDIOT?! WHY ARE YOU ASKING THIS QUESTION?

MORE THAN ONCE?: UGH! I plead the fifth!

PLEASE TAKE THE FOLLOWING SURVEY SO THAT I MAY ASSESS THE EXTENT OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE TOWARDS THE TWINS.

1. SHE IS SHOPPING WITH TWIN (AND ALICE), THE HUMAN ENVIRONMENT IS TOO MUCH FOR YOU TO HANDLE AND YOU NEED TO HUNT IMMEDIATELY. YOU  
A) SUGGEST THAT EVERYONE LEAVE TO GO HUNT  
*B) EXPLAIN TO HER THAT YOU HAVE TO LEAVE TO HUNT, AND TELL HER TO ENJOY HER SHOPPING  
C)SUCK IT UP AND DEAL WITH IT. LIFE ISN'T ABOUT YOU.

2. SHE IS VERY, VERY ANGRY WITH YOU. YOU…  
*A) EXPLAIN YOURSELF  
B) HIDE  
C) DRESS UP AS CINDERALLA AND SERENADE HER WITH YOUR WORST IMPERSONATION  
D) TELL MARCUS TO PROTECT YOU

3. SHE DOES SOMETHING TO AGGRAVATE YOU IMMENSELY. YOU…  
*A) YELL  
B) TELL HER HOW SHE HURT YOUR FEELINGS LIKE A PANSY  
C) DO HER  
D) APOLOGIZE AND BUY HER DIAMONDS BEFORE SHE CAN EVEN GET MAD AT YOU FOR BEING MAD AT HER (WHICH SHE WILL)

4. I DO SOMETHING STUPID THAT HEIDI WOULDN'T LIKE. YOU FIND OUT BEFORE ANYONE ELSE. YOU…  
A) WARN ME, BUT KEEP QUIET.  
B) TELL HEIDI, IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO.  
*C) ASK HER FIRST. BECAUSE YOU NEVER, EVER DO ANYTHING WITHOUT HER OPINION.

5. HER FAVORITE MOVIE IS ___Shit, I don't know___

6. HER FAVORITE BOOK IS __Wuthering Heights__

7. HER FAVORITE BROTHER IS _________Emmett________

8. YOU'RE MEAN TO ALICE OR JANE. SHE FINDS OUT AND IS READY TO CASTRATE/DETIT YOU. YOU…  
A) HIDE (AGAIN)  
B) APOLOGIZE  
*C) I WOULD NEVER DO THAT, JANE AND ALICE ARE SCARY  
D) DENY IT LIKE NICO DENIES FELIX.

9. FELIX IS AFTER NICO… AGAIN. YOU… (IF YOU ARE FILLING THIS APPLICATION ABOUT BELLA, PLEASE DISREGARD THIS QUESTION UNTIL YOUR NICO ONE)  
A) LAUGH AT HER FOR THE FIRST FEW DAYS, THEN SCARE FELIX SHITLESS  
B) PROTECT HER FROM THE EVIL IN FELIX'S PANTS  
C) LAUGH AT HER UNTIL SHE BLOWS SOMETHING UP

I WILL SCORE THIS SURVEY AND ASSES YOUR QUALIFICATIONS UPON RECIEPT. YOU WILL BE NOTIFIED OF YOUR RESULTS WITHIN ONE MONTH.


	7. Edward Bella by kaleighlovesedward

**THE BELLA/NICO APPLICATION**

PLEASE FILL OUT A SEPARATE APPLICATION FOR EACH TWIN.

PLEASE RETURN TO DEMETRI VOLTURI WHEN FINISHED, AS I WILL BE THE ONE TO ASSESS THE ANSWERS AND MAINTAIN THE RECORDS. YOU HAVE TWENTY FOUR HOURS TO COMPLETE THIS APPLICATION, AFTER WHICH YOU WILL BE CONSIDERED NONEXISTANT TO ME AND WILL RECEIVE NO FURTHER RECOGNITION. EXCEPT FOR WHEN I QUESTION YOU ABOUT YOUR FAILURE TO COMPLETE THE APPLICATION.

EVERY HOUR

ON THE HOUR

EVERY DAY OF EVERY WEEK

EVERY WEEK OF THE YEAR

EVERY YEAR OF THE DECADE

EVERY DECADE OF THE CENTURY

AND SO ON.

IF YOU DON'T THINK I WILL DO IT, CHECK YOUR SOURCES AGAIN. I WILL.

TWIN: Batman

APPLICANT NAME: Robin

APPLICANT AGE: Well, i should be dead by now

APPLICANT LOCATION: love nest

HAVE YOU DONE MY SISTER: No, we adopted the vampire kids. SERIOUSLY DEMETRI.

MORE THAN ONCE? : Practice makes perfect. I WILL SCORE THIS SURVEY AND ASSES YOUR QUALIFICATIONS UPON RECIEPT. YOU WILL BE NOTIFIED OF YOUR RESULTS WITHIN ONE MONTH.


	8. Jake Nico by bookwormandtvlover

**_credit goes to bookwormandtvlover_**

**THE BELLA/NICO APPLICATION**

PLEASE FILL OUT A SEPARATE APPLICATION FOR EACH TWIN.

PLEASE RETURN TO DEMETRI VOLTURI WHEN FINISHED, AS I WILL BE THE ONE TO ASSESS THE ANSWERS AND MAINTAIN THE RECORDS. YOU HAVE TWENTY FOUR HOURS TO COMPLETE THIS APPLICATION, AFTER WHICH YOU WILL BE CONSIDERED NONEXISTANT TO ME AND WILL RECEIVE NO FURTHER RECOGNITION. EXCEPT FOR WHEN I QUESTION YOU ABOUT YOUR FAILURE TO COMPLETE THE APPLICATION.

EVERY HOUR

ON THE HOUR

EVERY DAY OF EVERY WEEK

EVERY WEEK OF THE YEAR

EVERY YEAR OF THE DECADE

EVERY DECADE OF THE CENTURY

AND SO ON.

IF YOU DON'T THINK I WILL DO IT, CHECK YOUR SOURCES AGAIN. I WILL.

TWIN: Nico

APPLICANT NAME: Jacob

APPLICANT AGE:17

APPLICANT LOCATION: The Castle

DOES APPLICANT HOLD A POSITION OF POWER ANYWHERE: yes

WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS WITH MY SISTER: Um, no comments

CAN YOU PROVIDE FOR MY SISTER IN THE APPROPRIATE MANNER: yes

HAVE YOU DONE MY SISTER: Demetri? why? yes.

MORE THAN ONCE?: umm. awkward.

PLEASE TAKE THE FOLLOWING SURVEY SO THAT I MAY ASSESS THE EXTENT OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE TOWARDS THE TWINS.

1. SHE IS SHOPPING WITH TWIN (AND ALICE), THE HUMAN ENVIRONMENT IS TOO MUCH FOR YOU TO HANDLE AND YOU NEED TO HUNT IMMEDIATELY. YOU  
A) SUGGEST THAT EVERYONE LEAVE TO GO HUNT  
B) EXPLAIN TO HER THAT YOU HAVE TO LEAVE TO HUNT, AND TELL HER TO ENJOY HER SHOPPING  
C)SUCK IT UP AND DEAL WITH IT. LIFE ISN'T ABOUT YOU.  
*I don't hunt*

2. SHE IS VERY, VERY ANGRY WITH YOU. YOU…  
A) EXPLAIN YOURSELF  
*B) HIDE  
C) DRESS UP AS CINDERALLA AND SERENADE HER WITH YOUR WORST IMPERSONATION  
D) TELL MARCUS TO PROTECT YOU

3. SHE DOES SOMETHING TO AGGRAVATE YOU IMMENSELY. YOU…  
A) YELL  
B) TELL HER HOW SHE HURT YOUR FEELINGS LIKE A PANSY  
C) DO HER  
*D) APOLOGIZE AND BUY HER DIAMONDS BEFORE SHE CAN EVEN GET MAD AT YOU FOR BEING MAD AT HER (WHICH SHE WILL)

4. I DO SOMETHING STUPID THAT HEIDI WOULDN'T LIKE. YOU FIND OUT BEFORE ANYONE ELSE. YOU…  
A) WARN ME, BUT KEEP QUIET.  
*B) TELL HEIDI, IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO.  
C) ASK HER FIRST. BECAUSE YOU NEVER, EVER DO ANYTHING WITHOUT HER OPINION.

5. HER FAVORITE MOVIE IS ______Pan's Labyrinth____________

6. HER FAVORITE BOOK IS _________Romeo and Juliet_________

7. HER FAVORITE BROTHER IS __________Emmett__________

8. YOU'RE MEAN TO ALICE OR JANE. SHE FINDS OUT AND IS READY TO CASTRATE/DETIT YOU. YOU…  
*A) HIDE (AGAIN)  
B) APOLOGIZE  
C) I WOULD NEVER DO THAT, JANE AND ALICE ARE SCARY  
D) DENY IT LIKE NICO DENIES FELIX.

9. FELIX IS AFTER NICO… AGAIN. YOU… (IF YOU ARE FILLING THIS APPLICATION ABOUT BELLA, PLEASE DISREGARD THIS QUESTION UNTIL YOUR NICO ONE)  
A) LAUGH AT HER FOR THE FIRST FEW DAYS, THEN SCARE FELIX SHITLESS  
*B) PROTECT HER FROM THE EVIL IN FELIX'S PANTS  
C) LAUGH AT HER UNTIL SHE BLOWS SOMETHING UP

I WILL SCORE THIS SURVEY AND ASSES YOUR QUALIFICATIONS UPON RECIEPT. YOU WILL BE NOTIFIED OF YOUR RESULTS WITHIN ONE MONTH.


	9. Jake Nico by vampyregurl09

**THE BELLA/NICO APPLICATION**

PLEASE FILL OUT A SEPARATE APPLICATION FOR EACH TWIN.

PLEASE RETURN TO DEMETRI VOLTURI WHEN FINISHED, AS I WILL BE THE ONE TO ASSESS THE ANSWERS AND MAINTAIN THE RECORDS. YOU HAVE TWENTY FOUR HOURS TO COMPLETE THIS APPLICATION, AFTER WHICH YOU WILL BE CONSIDERED NONEXISTANT TO ME AND WILL RECEIVE NO FURTHER RECOGNITION. EXCEPT FOR WHEN I QUESTION YOU ABOUT YOUR FAILURE TO COMPLETE THE APPLICATION.

EVERY HOUR

ON THE HOUR

EVERY DAY OF EVERY WEEK

EVERY WEEK OF THE YEAR

EVERY YEAR OF THE DECADE

EVERY DECADE OF THE CENTURY

AND SO ON.

IF YOU DON'T THINK I WILL DO IT, CHECK YOUR SOURCES AGAIN. I WILL.

TWIN: Nicolette

APPLICANT NAME: Jacob

APPLICANT AGE: 18

APPLICANT LOCATION: Volterra, Italy

DOES APPLICANT HOLD A POSITION OF POWER ANYWHERE: Yes

WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS WITH MY SISTER: Honorable

CAN YOU PROVIDE FOR MY SISTER IN THE APPROPRIATE MANNER: Yes

HAVE YOU DONE MY SISTER: Yes

MORE THAN ONCE?: Yes

PLEASE TAKE THE FOLLOWING SURVEY SO THAT I MAY ASSESS THE EXTENT OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE TOWARDS THE TWINS.

1. SHE IS SHOPPING WITH TWIN (AND ALICE), THE HUMAN ENVIRONMENT IS TOO MUCH FOR YOU TO HANDLE AND YOU NEED TO HUNT IMMEDIATELY. YOU

A) SUGGEST THAT EVERYONE LEAVE TO GO HUNT

B) EXPLAIN TO HER THAT YOU HAVE TO LEAVE TO HUNT, AND TELL HER TO ENJOY HER SHOPPING

C)SUCK IT UP AND DEAL WITH IT. LIFE ISN'T ABOUT YOU.

IS VERY, VERY ANGRY WITH YOU. YOU…

A) EXPLAIN YOURSELF

B) HIDE

C) DRESS UP AS CINDERALLA AND SERENADE HER WITH YOUR WORST IMPERSONATION

D) TELL MARCUS TO PROTECT YOU

3. SHE DOES SOMETHING TO AGGRAVATE YOU IMMENSELY. YOU…

A) YELL

B) TELL HER HOW SHE HURT YOUR FEELINGS LIKE A PANSY

C) DO HER

D) APOLOGIZE AND BUY HER DIAMONDS BEFORE SHE CAN EVEN GET MAD AT YOU FOR BEING MAD AT HER (WHICH SHE WILL)

4. I DO SOMETHING STUPID THAT HEIDI WOULDN'T LIKE. YOU FIND OUT BEFORE ANYONE ELSE. YOU…

A) WARN ME, BUT KEEP QUIET.

B) TELL HEIDI, IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO.

C) ASK HER FIRST. BECAUSE YOU NEVER, EVER DO ANYTHING WITHOUT HER OPINION.

5. HER FAVORITE MOVIE IS _Titanic_

6. HER FAVORITE BOOK IS __something scary_

7. HER FAVORITE BROTHER IS __Demetri_

8. YOU'RE MEAN TO ALICE OR JANE. SHE FINDS OUT AND IS READY TO CASTRATE/DETIT YOU. YOU…

A) HIDE (AGAIN)

B) APOLOGIZE

C) I WOULD NEVER DO THAT, JANE AND ALICE ARE SCARY

D) DENY IT LIKE NICO DENIES FELIX.

9. FELIX IS AFTER NICO… AGAIN. YOU… (IF YOU ARE FILLING THIS APPLICATION ABOUT BELLA, PLEASE DISREGARD THIS QUESTION UNTIL YOUR NICO ONE)

A) LAUGH AT HER FOR THE FIRST FEW DAYS, THEN SCARE FELIX SHITLESS

B) PROTECT HER FROM THE EVIL IN FELIX'S PANTS

C) LAUGH AT HER UNTIL SHE BLOWS SOMETHING UP  
MORE THAN ONCE? : Practice makes perfect. I WILL SCORE THIS SURVEY AND ASSES YOUR QUALIFICATIONS UPON RECIEPT. YOU WILL BE NOTIFIED OF YOUR RESULTS WITHIN ONE MONTH.


	10. EdwardBella by daughter of the earthstar

**THE BELLA/NICO APPLICATION**

PLEASE FILL OUT A SEPARATE APPLICATION FOR EACH TWIN.

PLEASE RETURN TO DEMETRI VOLTURI WHEN FINISHED, AS I WILL BE THE ONE TO ASSESS THE ANSWERS AND MAINTAIN THE RECORDS. YOU HAVE TWENTY FOUR HOURS TO COMPLETE THIS APPLICATION, AFTER WHICH YOU WILL BE CONSIDERED NONEXISTANT TO ME AND WILL RECEIVE NO FURTHER RECOGNITION. EXCEPT FOR WHEN I QUESTION YOU ABOUT YOUR FAILURE TO COMPLETE THE APPLICATION.

EVERY HOUR

ON THE HOUR

EVERY DAY OF EVERY WEEK

EVERY WEEK OF THE YEAR

EVERY YEAR OF THE DECADE

EVERY DECADE OF THE CENTURY

AND SO ON.

IF YOU DON'T THINK I WILL DO IT, CHECK YOUR SOURCES AGAIN. I WILL.

TWIN: Princess Isabella Marie Swan Volturi, and eventually Cullen.

APPLICANT NAME: Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, the one with the Volturi crest and darker cloak than yours. Take that!!

APPLICANT AGE: 17 since 1901.

APPLICANT LOCATION: MY Bella's bedroom, Volterra. Or OUR bedroom, Cullen residence, Forks. Or wherever MY darling wants to be.

DOES APPLICANT HOLD A POSITION OF POWER ANYWHERE: YES!! AND IT'S HIGHER THAN YOURS!!! Son of Carlisle Cullen who is head of the Cullen Clan, Adoptive family member of the VOLTURI, that's ARO, MARCUS AND CAIUS to you! And I have a darker cloak than you! HAH!

WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS WITH MY SISTER: I will do whatever my darling wants me to do, and you can't stop me because my cloak is darker than yours! HAH!

CAN YOU PROVIDE FOR MY SISTER IN THE APPROPRIATE MANNER: What kind of question is this? Helloooooo! Family member of the VOLTURI!!

HAVE YOU DONE MY SISTER: Oh, yes. And let me tell you, it was amazing. *Smirks evilly.*

MORE THAN ONCE?: Not just more than once. At least once a day. At least.

PLEASE TAKE THE FOLLOWING SURVEY SO THAT I MAY ASSESS THE EXTENT OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE TOWARDS THE TWINS.

1. SHE IS SHOPPING WITH TWIN (AND ALICE), THE HUMAN ENVIRONMENT IS TOO MUCH FOR YOU TO HANDLE AND YOU NEED TO HUNT IMMEDIATELY. YOU  
C)SUCK IT UP AND DEAL WITH IT. LIFE ISN'T ABOUT YOU.

2. SHE IS VERY, VERY ANGRY WITH YOU. YOU…  
C) DRESS UP AS CINDERELLA AND SERENADE HER WITH YOUR WORST IMPERSONATION

3. SHE DOES SOMETHING TO AGGRAVATE YOU IMMENSELY. YOU…  
D) APOLOGIZE AND BUY HER DIAMONDS BEFORE SHE CAN EVEN GET MAD AT YOU FOR BEING MAD AT HER (WHICH SHE WILL)

4. I DO SOMETHING STUPID THAT HEIDI WOULDN'T LIKE. YOU FIND OUT BEFORE ANYONE ELSE. YOU…  
C) ASK HER FIRST. BECAUSE YOU NEVER, EVER DO ANYTHING WITHOUT HER OPINION.

5. HER FAVORITE MOVIE IS Rome and Juliet, second edition.  
6. HER FAVORITE BOOK IS Wuthering Heights, by Charlotte Bronte

7. HER FAVORITE BROTHER IS Emmett.

8. YOU'RE MEAN TO ALICE OR JANE. SHE FINDS OUT AND IS READY TO CASTRATE/DETIT YOU. YOU…  
C) I WOULD NEVER DO THAT, JANE AND ALICE ARE SCARY. (and it would upset my darling!)

9. FELIX IS AFTER NICO… AGAIN. YOU… (IF YOU ARE FILLING THIS APPLICATION ABOUT BELLA, PLEASE DISREGARD THIS QUESTION UNTIL YOUR NICO ONE)  
A) LAUGH AT HER FOR THE FIRST FEW DAYS, THEN SCARE FELIX SHITLESS  
B) PROTECT HER FROM THE EVIL IN FELIX'S PANTS  
C) LAUGH AT HER UNTIL SHE BLOWS SOMETHING UP

I WILL SCORE THIS SURVEY AND ASSES YOUR QUALIFICATIONS UPON RECIEPT. YOU WILL BE NOTIFIED OF YOUR RESULTS WITHIN ONE MONTH.


	11. Jake Nico by daughter of the earthstar

**THE BELLA/NICO APPLICATION**

PLEASE FILL OUT A SEPARATE APPLICATION FOR EACH TWIN.

PLEASE RETURN TO DEMETRI VOLTURI WHEN FINISHED, AS I WILL BE THE ONE TO ASSESS THE ANSWERS AND MAINTAIN THE RECORDS. YOU HAVE TWENTY FOUR HOURS TO COMPLETE THIS APPLICATION, AFTER WHICH YOU WILL BE CONSIDERED NONEXISTANT TO ME AND WILL RECEIVE NO FURTHER RECOGNITION. EXCEPT FOR WHEN I QUESTION YOU ABOUT YOUR FAILURE TO COMPLETE THE APPLICATION.

EVERY HOUR

ON THE HOUR

EVERY DAY OF EVERY WEEK

EVERY WEEK OF THE YEAR

EVERY YEAR OF THE DECADE

EVERY DECADE OF THE CENTURY

AND SO ON.

IF YOU DON'T THINK I WILL DO IT, CHECK YOUR SOURCES AGAIN. I WILL.

TWIN: Princess Nicolette Volturi. And hopefully Black.

APPLICANT NAME: Jacob Black (Alpha)

APPLICANT AGE: 141

APPLICANT LOCATION: Wherever my Nico is.

DOES APPLICANT HOLD A POSITION OF POWER ANYWHERE: Well, yes. I AM Alpha of the Quileute Tribe.

WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS WITH MY SISTER: Whatever my Nico wants.

CAN YOU PROVIDE FOR MY SISTER IN THE APPROPRIATE MANNER: Yes, but so can her awesome daddy- Marcus.

HAVE YOU DONE MY SISTER: ....yes.

MORE THAN ONCE?: .....frequently, actually.

PLEASE TAKE THE FOLLOWING SURVEY SO THAT I MAY ASSESS THE EXTENT OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE TOWARDS THE TWINS.

1. SHE IS SHOPPING WITH TWIN (AND ALICE), THE HUMAN ENVIRONMENT IS TOO MUCH FOR YOU TO HANDLE AND YOU NEED TO HUNT IMMEDIATELY. YOU  
D) I don't hunt.

2. SHE IS VERY, VERY ANGRY WITH YOU. YOU…  
A) EXPLAIN YOURSELF

3. SHE DOES SOMETHING TO AGGRAVATE YOU IMMENSELY. YOU…  
D) APOLOGIZE AND BUY HER DIAMONDS BEFORE SHE CAN EVEN GET MAD AT YOU FOR BEING MAD AT HER (WHICH SHE WILL) though actually, i could never get mad at her. She's too perfect.....

4. I DO SOMETHING STUPID THAT HEIDI WOULDN'T LIKE. YOU FIND OUT BEFORE ANYONE ELSE. YOU…  
C) ASK HER FIRST. BECAUSE YOU NEVER, EVER DO ANYTHING WITHOUT HER OPINION.

5. HER FAVORITE MOVIE IS Grease.

6. HER FAVORITE BOOK IS The Karma Sutra

7. HER FAVORITE BROTHER IS Demetri. There's absolutely no competition.

8. YOU'RE MEAN TO ALICE OR JANE. SHE FINDS OUT AND IS READY TO CASTRATE/DETIT YOU. YOU…  
C) I WOULD NEVER DO THAT, JANE AND ALICE ARE SCARY

9. FELIX IS AFTER NICO… AGAIN. YOU… (IF YOU ARE FILLING THIS APPLICATION ABOUT BELLA, PLEASE DISREGARD THIS QUESTION UNTIL YOUR NICO ONE)  
B) PROTECT HER FROM THE EVIL IN FELIX'S PANTS

I WILL SCORE THIS SURVEY AND ASSES YOUR QUALIFICATIONS UPON RECIEPT. YOU WILL BE NOTIFIED OF YOUR RESULTS WITHIN ONE MONTH.


End file.
